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Go On

July 7, 2010

We’re taking the summer break to get some housekeeping things done at Court’s Kids. We’re a small, budding organization which means there’s lots to do at times. But, our main focus has been to get books to special needs programs and we’ve done that. All along the way we’ve been working on our 501c3 application. Chipping away at it, little by little. Lee has been a perfect partner in all of this, he has the attention to detail, patience and skill set is such that we could not survive without as an organization. We balance each other out. We’ve been working hard on putting the application together and at this stage in the game and should be ready to submit it.

While I was home a couple of weeks ago for the anniversary of Courtney’s passing we ended up having a little impromptu family meeting. Now I have to preface all this by saying that as a family of 5 kids with a teacher for a mom and a lawyer for a dad, family discussions and meetings can pop up at any given moment and, seeing that we’re all pretty passionate people, tend to get a little boisterous. We were sitting in the den, hanging out, just catching up, and came across the subject of the 501c3 application. I’ve mentioned before that I tend to be a little more on the daredevil side, pushing forward unafraid of mistakes, pushing toward the goal at hand. But, the handling of Court’s Kids business has made me more cautious. It is important to me that we do this well, that we do this right, for Courtney.

So, when Dad said “I just don’t get why you don’t just submit it already” I didn’t know what to think other than “I don’t want to screw it up”. It took some volleying back and forth to get to that but thats the gist of it, “I don’t want to goof it up”.  After much discussion, he’s right…did you hear that Daddy? You’re right. We’re wrapping it up and sending it in, we have done our best to ensure we’ve done everything properly up to this point so let’s get on with it, let’s go on.

Go on.

That was one of the songs we played at Courtney’s funeral, Jack Johnson’s “Go On”. Its about losing someone and moving through it, going on. We’re all doing that at our own pace and in our own way. But tonight, having dinner on the deck with my sweet husband, feeling the breeze cool down our rare hot Oregon day, one of the songs on the playlist was this one. Sometimes it takes me a little while to “get the message” but I heard it loud and clear. It’s time to put it all together and just send it in, go on.

So here we go…on.

Little by Little,

Kiki

“I see you slowly swim away

Courtney, introducing her babies to the ocean

‘Cause the light is leaving town to a place that I can’t be
But there’s no apologies

Just go on
Just go on
There’s still so many things I wanna say to you
But go on
Just go on
We’re bound by blood that’s moving from the moment that we start
From the moment that we start”

– Jack Johnson
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